Time for another lesson
I’m such a slow learner. Every time I think I’ve “finally got it,” God demonstrates to me that I still have more to learn. What a silly thought to think I’ve finally got it, but I seem to come to that conclusion every few weeks before being broad-sided by something else I realize I’ve had wrong all this time.
I’ve been having a heck of a time sleeping for the past several months. I simply can’t make it through the night anymore without waking up in pain and tossing and turning, hoping to finally get back to sleep again. Not just once in the middle of the night, but most nights it’s an hourly thing. I try to stay up until 1am most nights, not because I want to stay up for fun, but because I want to spend as little time in bed as possible. I’ve become completely exhausted. I thought that wasn’t supposed to happen until I was in my 60s or something and my bladder started being a problem. So much for that hope. ;)
Anyway, a couple weeks ago I woke up from a dream and immediately realized God had something to tell me through it. I won’t go into the details of the dream itself (partially because I forget several of them), but the important thing was it had to do with God’s sovereignty. Night time has become such a chore to get through with my disease (or whatever you want to call it) lately that I was having another bout of not being able to deal with it. I wasn’t passing it on to God and relying on His help to make it through. I also felt like I needed to put it back in the hands of doctors again, even though I could tell the Spirit wasn’t leading me there. As with another dream I’ve mentioned before, I awoke with such a start that I knew God had another lesson for me. So, I sat there pondering the dream, trying to understand each thing He wanted to teach me.
Just when I thought I had decomposed the dream and had it all together, and that I understood His message of sovereignty, it hit me. No, it wasn’t another idea. It was severe stomach cramps. I thought “argh, come on God… does it seriously have to be any harder to sleep?!” I started right into a pity party, wondering if I would ever make it out of my bed fast enough (it’s a couple minute ordeal these days). And then I wondered how much more sleep I would lose throughout the night, etc., but before I knew, it hit me. No, not worse stomach cramps. It was an idea. A different realization. “God, you just gave me that stomach flu, didn’t you. You aren’t sovereign over just the big things. You’re sovereign over the small things as well.”
So I simply sat there and remained calm as the pain continued, recalling a simple passage from Proverbs.
The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD.
(Proverbs 16:33)
Every decision? Really? Isn’t that something hard to wrap your head around? Obviously it was causing me some problems understanding, or maybe God wouldn’t have had to take such an interesting approach with me. You see, I pondered that verse (and some others I could think of at the time), and realized I hadn’t quite heard the full message He had for me. I concluded God really had to be sovereign over everything, or He wouldn’t be infinite, would he? I understood right then and there that God had full control over my condition and had a reason for it. So what else could I do but admit His complete sovereignty over things big and small, acknowledge His message was received and say to Him “thank you for this stomach flu and the lesson, and by the way, could you please take it right away as quick as you gave it to me?”
And wouldn’t you know it, it was simply gone and I slept like a baby until morning. And here it’s taken me a couple weeks to get around to writing this. Perhaps he wanted me to hold this message around in my head until you needed to read it. Are you ready to admit God is sovereign over everything? What does it mean in your life once you realize that’s true? He certainly has pointed it out several times in Scripture. I’ll share just a couple of my favorites before I close.
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
(Matthew 6:24-34)
Once we understand God’s sovereignty, and work hard not to forget it, how can we worry about anything? How can we worry about what’s happening in the world around us? We can certainly see things are wrong in the world, and want to know what we can do about it, and take actions as we’re able, but we can relax more when we realize God’s plans, regardless of what Satan or humans do against Him, will be accomplished. We can rest in that.
12 And when he was in distress, he entreated the favor of the LORD his God and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers. 13 He prayed to him, and God was moved by his entreaty and heard his plea and brought him again to Jerusalem into his kingdom. Then Manasseh knew that the LORD was God.
(2 Chronicles 33:12-13)
Read those last few words again. “Then Manasseh knew that the LORD was God.” Before the other night, did I really know “that the LORD was God”? I sure thought I did, but I guess it took yet another lesson to point out that maybe I didn’t have the complete picture.
And, I learned something else. This disease I have? There’s a reason it’s still with me. There’s a reason doctors haven’t been able to cure it and make it worse every time they mess around with me. I don’t know what that reason is, but it’s under God’s control. He’ll let us all know why when the time comes. And, if it’s His will, He’ll cure it just as easily as He gave me stomach flu and took it right away the other night.
28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
(Romans 8:28)
Yes, Father, I “know” it now. Errrr… at least I think I do, until the next lesson You have for me. :)
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